Tuesday, August 03, 2010

 

A black guy and a Chinese woman walk into a bar...




I had a classic "Adam Carolla" moment last weekend at the Highlander, while having a conversation with the most adorable Chinese woman this side of Gillian Chung. During our little talk, I learned that- when she came to the states- she chose the name "Jordan" because she's a huge fan of New Kids on the Block.


Immediately upon hearing that revelation, the following exchange ensued:


ME: So you changed your first name to "Jordan," but you obviously kept your last name, right?


JORDAN: Right.


ME: I bet I can guess your last name.


JORDAN: Okay, Go ahead.


ME: Is it..."Lau?"


JORDAN: (nonchalantly) Yep.


ME: Seriously!?


JORDAN: Uh huh.


ME: I just guessed your last name, and I got it right on the first try?


JORDAN: Yep.


ME: Are you fucking with me? There's no way I could've gotten that right on my first try. I bet if I'd said "Wong" you would've told me I was right.


JORDAN: No. I'm not fucking with you. My last name really is "Lau."


It's the sort of situation Carolla always complained about on Loveline, when he would- with no prior knowledge of the caller- correctly guess the caller's line of work, or the kind of car they drove- And the fact that he was right wouldn't phase the caller one bit.


So, here I am, in a bar, talking to a woman I didn't even know, and when I correctly guessed her last name (out of a billion other possibilities), she acted like it was no big deal. What do you have to do to impress people these days? Seriously, I'd really like to know. Learn how to levitate? Shoot laser beams from my eyes? What's it going to take?

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