Thursday, January 20, 2011
Pop Muzick
It's confession time.
I'm no stranger to bad pop music- in fact- I briefly dated Bad Pop Music for a while back in the mid-nineties. It was a tumultuous relationship, fraught with petty arguments, back-stabbing, and miscommunication- but oh, man- the make up sex made it all worthwhile. There was this one thing she used to do with her index finger and a dab of Vaseline that really made my...wait a minute, I'm sorry. I'm getting way off topic here.
Anyway, as I was saying, I'm no stranger to bad pop music. And I'm not talking about the truly unlistenable junk, soullessly churned out by the likes of Lady Gaga, and the Katie Perry Bio-Mecha-Unit 3000. I've always favored what I considered to be the "good" bad pop music, if that makes any sense.
So here's how this is going to work. I've got my Creative Zen Mp3 player fired up, and I'm going to attempt to justify some of the more, shall we say, "questionable" tracks in my library.
Backstreet Boys - Shattered: I got nothing. Let's move on to the next one.
Uffie - Pop the Glock: Jesus, this is impossible. I honestly don't even know how to BEGIN defending an auto tune-soaked, faux hip-hop track with lyrics like "Uffie's bangin/ Feadz is bangin'/ time to get low/ do the tootsie roll."
Spice Girls - Wastin' My Time: Pass.
Melanie B - Feels So Good: Umm..it was produced by Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis? Shit. This is harder than I thought. Pass.
2NE1- I Don't Care: .........Fuck. I give up.
Well, I hope this helped shed some light on my eclectic (i,e: "shitty") musical tastes. Personally, I thought it was enlightening, thought-provoking, and even a bit, dare I say, cathartic? Keep a look out for my next entry: An in-depth review of Jesse McCartney’s latest pop/soul masterpiece.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Videodrone
Friday afternoon I thought I'd hit the jackpot when I happened to come across a High Definition digital camcorder at Best Buy for fifty dollars.
"Fifty dollars?" I gasped. "Oh, this is just TOO good to pass up."
I was wrong.
The video quality is grainier than the Zapruder film, the files won't play in Windows Movie Maker, and trying to get the damn thing to focus is like trying to explain the Pythagorean theorem to Snookie.
I shot tons of video clips over the weekend, in different locations, with different lighting, and they ALL turned out looking like crap. Now I see why Best Buy reduced the price by more than 50%. They KNOW Insignia's 720P "HD" cam is a piece of junk. This thing doesn't even belong in an electronics store- it should be collecting dust in Wal-Mart's toy department.
Here's a video I shot before taking the camera back to Best Buy.
Was I exaggerating? I've seen regular digital camcorders that had better video quality than that. Well, that settles it. I'm just going to have to tighten my belt and save up for that Sanyo cam I was eyeballing at Radio Shack. Either that, or stand on Fulton Industrial Blvd with a sandwich board that reads: "Will reluctantly perform the unsavory act of fellatio for brand new Sanyo High Definition digital movie camera."
"Fifty dollars?" I gasped. "Oh, this is just TOO good to pass up."
I was wrong.
The video quality is grainier than the Zapruder film, the files won't play in Windows Movie Maker, and trying to get the damn thing to focus is like trying to explain the Pythagorean theorem to Snookie.
I shot tons of video clips over the weekend, in different locations, with different lighting, and they ALL turned out looking like crap. Now I see why Best Buy reduced the price by more than 50%. They KNOW Insignia's 720P "HD" cam is a piece of junk. This thing doesn't even belong in an electronics store- it should be collecting dust in Wal-Mart's toy department.
Here's a video I shot before taking the camera back to Best Buy.
Was I exaggerating? I've seen regular digital camcorders that had better video quality than that. Well, that settles it. I'm just going to have to tighten my belt and save up for that Sanyo cam I was eyeballing at Radio Shack. Either that, or stand on Fulton Industrial Blvd with a sandwich board that reads: "Will reluctantly perform the unsavory act of fellatio for brand new Sanyo High Definition digital movie camera."
