Wednesday, August 11, 2004
The Booby Trap
Since this blog has recently deteriorated into a dumping ground for all of my bad jokes, comic book-related ramblings, and more bad jokes; I've decided to dedicate this post to something a bit more serious. That's right: Lindsey Lohan's breasts.
I still don't understand why her ample bosom has generated so much buzz over the past few months. All right already. I get it. The girl has a huge rack. (my favorite slang term for breasts) Big deal. You could go to any high school in the country and find girls the same age or younger with even bigger breasts. Why all the speculation over this particular teenager's breast size, and whether they're real or not? This whole business surrounding Lohan's cleavage is almost as annoying as the Britney Spears Implant Debate of 2000.
This country is so weird. We're absolutely obsessed with breasts- to the point where we use them to sell everything under the sun (especially beer, cars, and movies)- but when an aging, past-her-prime popstar bares a boob during a televised sports event, everyone rushes to the nearest news camera to declare how shocked and disgusted they are. I'm so sick of this country's hypocritical bull-manure. Make up your mind, America. Are you Pro or Anti-dairy cannons? (my second favorite slang term for breasts) Which is it? You can't have it both ways!
I still don't understand why her ample bosom has generated so much buzz over the past few months. All right already. I get it. The girl has a huge rack. (my favorite slang term for breasts) Big deal. You could go to any high school in the country and find girls the same age or younger with even bigger breasts. Why all the speculation over this particular teenager's breast size, and whether they're real or not? This whole business surrounding Lohan's cleavage is almost as annoying as the Britney Spears Implant Debate of 2000.
This country is so weird. We're absolutely obsessed with breasts- to the point where we use them to sell everything under the sun (especially beer, cars, and movies)- but when an aging, past-her-prime popstar bares a boob during a televised sports event, everyone rushes to the nearest news camera to declare how shocked and disgusted they are. I'm so sick of this country's hypocritical bull-manure. Make up your mind, America. Are you Pro or Anti-dairy cannons? (my second favorite slang term for breasts) Which is it? You can't have it both ways!
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For the life of me, I'll never understand why "normal" women get breast implants. I can give actors and strippers a free pass on the whole implant thing because of the nature of their "work." But for some reason, I find it really disturbing when Sally over in accounts receivable blows her savings on a boob job because she thinks it'll boost her self confidence.
It really is disheartening to see how effective the media is when it comes to psychologically bullying women into thinking that their self worth and cup size go hand in hand.
It really is disheartening to see how effective the media is when it comes to psychologically bullying women into thinking that their self worth and cup size go hand in hand.
ahaha. Haven't you heard? Personalities are like, for losers or something. Why waste your time reading books and engaging in activities that'll make you a more interesting, well-rounded person when you can be, like, really hot?
"boobs should be strapped down and only brought out when it's time to play. If I could, and it didn't cause horrible pain, I would cut mine off. I have no use for them what so ever."
I REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ANY OF THIS. BOOBIES ARE THE GREATEST, AND NO ONE CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE!! DO YOU HEAR ME!? NO ONE!!!
I REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ANY OF THIS. BOOBIES ARE THE GREATEST, AND NO ONE CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE!! DO YOU HEAR ME!? NO ONE!!!
Deal. So...are you gonna Fed Ex them to Atlanta, or send them overnight by UPS? Let me know when, so I'll be able to sign for them when they arrive.
Yess!!! My first pair of boobs! Things are really looking up!
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Yess!!! My first pair of boobs! Things are really looking up!
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