Plugged in and ready to fall

I’m almost done with the outline for my call center comedy. It’s amazing how the ideas have just been flowing nonstop ever since I started writing. Of course that's probably due to the fact that all I’m really doing is taking stuff I’ve seen and experienced throughout my torturous, neverending stint in CSR Hell, and adding a few fart jokes and dated pop culture references to spice things up. I didn’t realize just how many funny/awkward/weird calls I’d endured over the past six years until I sat down and started working on the outline.

Here’s one of my favorite awkward moments from the enchanted world of customer service:

INT. CALL CENTER- DAY

ME: Thanks for calling Budget Rent A Car. How can I help you?

SUE: (Australian accent) Hi, this is Sue. I’m calling from Australia, and I’ll be in Atlanta next month for a couple of weeks. I wanted to see what kind of rates you have.

ME: Wow, you’re really calling from Australia?

SUE: Yep. That’s right.

ME: ahaha. G’day mate!

A long, uncomfortable silence.

SUE: Excuse me?

ME: Isn’t that what they say in Australia? (Bad Paul Hogan impression) G’day mate! Throw another shrimp on the Barbie!

An even longer, more uncomfortable silence.

SUE: (Pissed) No. No, we don’t talk like that.

Another excruciatingly awkward pause.

ME: Oh….okay. Soo…midsize or compact?

I’m not using this one in the script, but you have to admit- if they gave out awards for Most Awkward Telephone Conversation, that should at the very least warrant an honorable mention.