Plugged in and ready to fall

After reading Jeff Robinov's ridiculous statement where he promised that- from here on out- all of Warner Bros. subsequent superhero adaptations will be "dark and brooding," I've pretty much given up all hope of a decent Superman or Wonder Woman film ever seeing the light of day. I mean- come on. "Dark and brooding?" Seriously? That's fine when you're adapting something like Batman or Watchmen for the big screen, but the grim and realistic approach just doesn't make any sense if you're developing a movie about Aquaman or the Flash.

Take the Flash, for instance- Barry Allen is a guy who slips on a bright red costume (which he keeps in a goddamn RING, by the way), and runs around Central City, beating up talking gorillas and mad scientists. How could you possibly put a grim and realistic spin on a concept as ludicrous as that? It'd be like trying to greenlight an NC-17 rated Garfield movie.

That said, I'd like to let everyone know that I’ve just begun work on my new spec script for Warner Bros. It’s called: "Justice League America: Irreversible." I don’t mean to toot my own horn here, but the scene where Sinestro anally rapes the Green Lantern in a dimly-lit subway tunnel is sure to grab the attention of the script readers over at the WB.

Hollywood, here I come!